heavy heart

Every Thursday I look back at a specific day and time that was spent with my daughter Matilda as she waited for, received, and recovered from a liver transplant. She was in the hospital for 72 days and we remained in NYC until she turned four months old.

October 30th, 2012 - heavy heart

Matilda had a fever. Our nurse did not hesitate. She got right to work gathering blood samples to be tested, administering broad spectrum antibiotics, and of course taking care of all of Matilda's other needs.

My heart was heavy.

I didn't know what was in store, but I felt like we were reaching the end. With tears running down my face, I began to process and come to terms with the reality, that this might be it. Matilda was dying and my hope was dwindling.

As I spent the morning in tears, weak with exhaustion, feeling the weight of my heavy heart - people all over the world began praying. It was organized online. At 10am Mountain time, people were going to stop what they were doing and focus on Matilda - on us. And I could feel it.

I could feel the peace rush over me. I didn't know what the end result would be, but Matilda was making waves. She was inspiring hope. She was breathing life into so many lives. And although I was heartbroken, I knew that her life was beautiful.

Maybe it was time to say goodbye.

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