10 months and the truth

Ten months, this is crazy. I cannot tell you where time goes. Only that we spent four months in the hospital, the rest seems to be unaccounted for.

When Matilda was nearing her end, I whispered in her ear sweet stories of how I would spoil her rotten if she would only make it another day. But the truth is, she is the one who spoils me. She spoils me with the sweetest personality I have ever known. She spoils me with quiet nights sleeping soundly. She spoils me by continuing to be my baby.

I joke that Parker was born a toddler. He was crawling by five months and efficiently walking by one. He was always on the move, rarely slept, and never acted like a baby. But Matilda snuggles in my arms, babbles gibberish, and continues to take her time the way a baby should. I love Parker for everything that he was and is, but I really appreciate Matilda's pace.

We lost those first few months to sickness and medicated sleep. I do not take for granted the progress that Matilda has made since her transplant. I know that making her regular developmental milestones on time is extraordinary, and we celebrate each one of them with more joy than you will know. The truth is, I try not to think about what she would have been had she not gotten sick or what her developmental future holds as a result of being sick - I just enjoy Matilda for what she is each day.

Happy ten months Matilda. You are perfect.

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