room for change

Before Matilda was born I wanted to decorate her room and make it just right. I was disappointed because our things did not arrive from Montana until a week before she was born.  Funny how a new perspective changes everything. Matilda has not spent a single night in her room.

One day Matilda will have a room and we will make it nice and decorate it just right. But today, I want her close. I know she is fine. I know she is perfectly capable of sleeping away from us. But I want her close.

So this weekend we moved her bassinet out of and her crib into our room. We made what was her nursery into a playroom for both kids. We read, we played, we laughed in the new space. It was just what I needed. I was reminded every time I went into her nursery that she was never able to use it. I was reminded of how she was taken away from me. And of how I had to share her until she was 4 months old.

Matilda has still lived in NYC longer than she has lived here. But this feels like home, even if it is still full of boxes to be unpacked and pictures to be hung. When you live with nothing you learn that you already have everything.

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