Parker loves school. He loves being with friends. He loves learning about new things. He loves to be independent. And I love that about him. I love that he feels comfortable and confident at school. I love that he has somewhere to go and not worry about his sister or germs or whatever else.
But at the same time, I feel him slipping away. I am losing touch with who he is and what makes him tick. After school he is exhausted and requests alone time. And our after-dinner routine moves us from bath to housecleaning to books and bed.
Sometimes I just want to slow him down. To hold him still and have an excellent conversation. Most days he seems so sporadic, energetic, and ready for whatever is next. It just seems all too fast and I am not sure that I am ready for him to move onto this next phase of boyhood.
Last Sunday, he feel asleep in my arms at church. He hasn't done that in years - if ever. And I sat there as still as I could (not participating in the standing, sitting, or kneeling parts). I just sat and held him in my arms because he felt so little. So simple. And, for those few moments, like my tiny little baby once again.
I kept kissing him on the head and praying in thanks for the chance to be still and hold him in the most beautiful way imaginable.