I often get ahead of myself with crazy dreams and lofty goals. I make big plans and really enjoy daydreaming how things could play out. There is always this pull between what is right in front of me and what lies ahead.
Matilda taught me right off the bat that letting go of expectations is a must. She taught me that some of the most amazing and beautiful opportunities come at the most ordinary times. That life is to be celebrated - every breath, every milestone, every day - because it is all a gift. I am Matilda's mother and I wouldn't trade anything for the memories we create together, nor would I for my time with Parker.
But, I also really love to work. I went from a career full of long hours working with students, parents, and schools to create the best education experience possible to being alone all day with two kids to care for - one with an extreme health condition. It was a big shift, which is why this blog was born. I needed deadlines, assignments, and a way to reach out. It is also why I took my job with Alt, which I love.
There is this push and pull that I am sure is shared with so many of you. I feel guilty for not giving Matilda my undivided attention all day, but I am also proud to watch her play independently while I answer emails, take phone calls, and write. I love that my office is her playroom full of block towers, coloring pages, and toy animals. I love that she can see my dedication and even help with my photo shoots.
And then I remember to let go of expectations. I can't expect that every decision I make is the right one. That every day is going to the best ever. That every memory she carries will be full of laughter. But, I can expect that Matilda will continue to teach me about life, love, and all the good things to come from the push and pull of life.