We took the kids to a local pumpkin patch in the morning on the day that Matilda was first admitted to the hospital. When we awoke that morning we had no idea she was sick. No idea she was crying out for help. No idea that our world was about to change. That goes to show just how fast it progressed. I still have visions of a tiny week-old Matilda sleeping soundly in Tyler's arms - uninterested in eating, uninterested in waking, uninterested in moving. Part of me wants to go back to that patch, to redo that awful day. But Tyler said it makes him sick even thinking about it. And I respect that.
This year, both the kids were so excited to go pick out pumpkins. Matilda repeated the word over and over and Parker smiled from ear to ear watching her excitement. We can't redo that day, two years ago, but we can make the best of today. We are so blessed. So lucky to watch Matilda grow, to experience all the goodness of childhood.
This time of year my emotions are all over the place, but holding onto my family, holding onto these new memories we create together seems to make the tears fade. To us, a visit to a pumpkin patch will never just be a simple visit to a pumpkin patch.