feeling joy

Some things about motherhood have surprised me. One of which is that pure joy I experience when my kids are happy.

Before I was a mom, I thought it was about looking good and being successful. Parents want their kids to do good things. But it is so much more than that. I get that now. I search for and savor the moments when Parker is happiest. That feeling that I see on his face puts me in the best place.

For Parker, it is being active. He runs around and his laughter is uncontrollable. It is my favorite thing to watch. The other night he came with me on my run and it was like I set him free. When he rides on the sidewalk his careful and cautious personality overpowers, but on this trail he was going so fast, laughing so hard, and smiling with so much pride. He rode for two miles without stopping. It brought me so much joy.

Last night, we took Parker to his preschool open house. And he beamed. I was so afraid that he was going to be nervous or scared, and maybe he was a little. But I was so proud of him for pushing past it, not because it looked good but because it allowed him to open up and take everything in. It brought me so much joy. My favorite moment was when a friend asked Parker if they could play again on Thursday and Parker responded, "Yeah, sure we could." The way he said it was so understated. He was born for this. He is going to eat school for breakfast.

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