a new crib

Every Thursday I look back at a specific day and time that was spent with my daughter Matilda as she waited for, received, and recovered from a liver transplant. She was in the hospital for 72 days and we remained in NYC until she turned four months old.

October 25th, 2012 - a new crib

When Matilda arrived at Mount Sinai Hospital, she was 9-days-old and weighed a little less than 6lbs. She was tiny and an isolette was the perfect bed - it had a warmer that could be turned on to help keep her body temperature stable. It was where Matilda remained for the next three weeks. Until October 25th, when our nurse wanted to make Matilda a bit more comfortable.

Remember a few posts back, when I mentioned that Tyler had found a routine and was feeling really comfortable with this new normal that we were living. Tyler is the kind of person that takes some time to get to know. He is not shy, but rather a bit guarded. He is perfectly comfortable to sit in silence and only speaks when he has something to say. Once you get to know him, he always has something to say. On this night, he took our nurse a bit by surprise.

Dahlia came around the corner with a huge crib for Matilda. She was so proud of herself for finding the newest bed available and was excited to get Matilda set up in a new space. Tyler, being the type who prefers consistency and familiarity, was immediately unhappy. And, because he had become friends with Dahlia, he spoke freely with her about how ridiculously huge it was.

Neither myself nor Dahlia knew if Tyler was speaking out of seriousness or jest. I guess it was a little of both. Or, maybe I hope it was a little of both. But it did take up all of our space, which was not much to begin with. I was upset because I understood that Dahlia was doing her best, that she was excited to put Matilda in a real crib. I needed her friendship, and I was afraid that Tyler was being too honest and upfront.

The next morning, just as Tyler had ensured the entire night staff would happen, our day nurse walked in and said, "What the hell?" And, soon enough, she had commandeered Matilda a much smaller (but older) crib. I was relieved because it gave us more space, and it made Tyler so proud and happy that he got his way. As long as their was forgiveness from Dahlia, things would be okay. In reality Matilda could care less where she was, for her I can imagine, it was more about who she was with. And, I wanted Dahlia at her side.

Meanwhile, Matilda was silently sleeping. Silently shouting that something big was about to happen. Something no one would have control over.

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